A Weekend in Heaven

What a weekend we just had!

On Friday morning, I had no intention of driving to Utah.

Early Saturday morning, the younger 4 kids and I arrived at Tara's house.

Kynzlee Dawn Turley (Craig's Daughter) was getting baptized on Saturday.  I was asked to give the talk on Baptism.  I was thinking about the talk all week.  Friday morning, as I was printing out my "thoughts" about baptism, I just felt an overwhelming desire to be able to give the talk in person rather than via zoom.  The seed had been planted and it was quickly swelling and growing.  I asked Jon what he thought and he said that I could go as long as the vans' tires were rotated first.  I was able to get an appointment quickly, Jon took the van in, I finished up school with the kids, they took showers, we packed, and when Jon returned we packed up the car and hit the road.  It was very spontaneous...and I truly felt like Heavenly Father was prompting me to go.  That morning I was praying that something that I would say in my baptism talk would touch Craig.  After the baptism, Craig said that he felt the spirit for the first time in years.  I also felt like Craig, Amanda, Alyssa, Tara, and I really needed to be together to talk.  We had some very deep conversations over the two days that I was there.  Many tears were shed.  I don't think I have laughed or cried so hard in a very long time.

Kynzlee was baptized on May 1st, the 8 year anniversary of Mom's death.  This is another reason why we were all extra emotional.  I haven't been with my siblings on Mom's "anniversary" since Tara moved to Utah.  It was a blessing to be able to talk about Mom with them.  We were all in tears.

Dad stayed the night at Tara's house all by himself (without Lisa).  It was the fist time I have spent any considerable amount of time with him alone since he was married to Lisa 4 years ago.  It felt good.  I do love Lisa, but I also think that it's healthy for us to get some alone time with our Dad.

A lot of memories and past emotions resurfaced this weekend.  I feel a little depressed about it all.  One thing is for certain, however, and that is that I would not be where I am today without my Savior.  Through the dark times that we discussed (not journal appropriate), I depended on my Savior to get me through.  I carried a picture of Him in my back pocket so that I could have a tangible reminder that He was with me at all times. I desperately needed Him.  My relationship with my Savior was strengthened through my difficulties.

I was very emotional while giving my talk. I was overwhelmed with emotion and with the spirit.  I cried the entire way through.  This was in part because I asked Heavenly Father to be with me, but also because Nana and Grandpa Duncan, Aunt Sharon, and Uncle Dean were all watching the baptism on zoom.  It was absolutely amazing to have so much family together all at once.

A weekend of Heaven.

I didn't get may pictures at all, unfortunately.  Here are a few pictures of the cousins at play at Tara's house.  I love seeing them all together.  If only Mom were here to watch her posterity enjoy each other.

We had our traditional strawberry milk toast and symphony chocolate bar for Mom.  We phoned in Nana and Grandpa to join us.  It couldn't have been more perfect.

We missed Jon and Lizzie.  Jon had to take Lizzie to get her blood drawn and also for a CT scan this weekend.  Lizzie seems to be feeling better, however, so we are really grateful.  It was nearly 2 months of her spending days in pain on the couch bed in the library.  It was rough for her.  I'm hoping and praying that the ovarian cyst dissolved, that she will be able to keep her constipation under control, and that there isn't anything seriously wrong with her.  I am a little concerned about the extensive ground glass opacities and nodule in her lungs.  It is extremely rare for a teenager to get lung cancer.  However, it what they found "by accident" (divine intervention) happens to be malignant, it was caught at an early stage and it will be easy to treat.  I'm sure we will find out more answers soon.

I'm editing this post a few days after I originally wrote it.  Sandy (Jon's Mom) was diagnosed with Chronic Lymphatic Luekemia.  She doesn't know much about it, just that they will be keeping an eye on her.  Apparently it is a slow growing cancer.  If it starts growing quicker, than it will need to be treated with chemo and surgery.  She doesn't know much, just that the doctors are hopeful.  She honestly doesn't seem worried.

You know, I know so many people who are suffering from cancer.  It doesn't even seem rare anymore.  It just seems as if everyone will eventually contract the dreaded disease and that there is no escaping.  It seems like a bad attitude to have, but I find it so strange how prevalent cancer seems to be among my friends and family.  Grandpa Turley (My Dad's Dad) was just diagnosed with prostate cancer that doesn't look good.  It had already started to spread to his ribs.  He is 92 years old.  He's lived a good life and this cancer might be the thing that takes his life.  I know we can't live forever.  It really hurts when someone young gets cancer.  When they have their whole lives ahead of them and their lives are cut short by a dreaded disease.  It's heartbreaking.

Thought I'd share my thoughts about baptism.  I didn't read this at the baptism.  I just spewed my thoughts on paper.  However, I think I did end up saying many of these things.

 My Thoughts About Baptism

Kynzlee Turley’s Baptism

May 1st, 2021

Today is a very special day! You are about to take your very first step onto The Covenant Path. You have chosen to follow the example of Jesus Christ and to be baptized. About 2,000 years ago, Jesus Christ was baptized by John the baptist. He was baptized in order to fulfill all righteousness. Heavenly Father was very pleased with Jesus’ choice to be baptized as He spoke from Heaven, “This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased”. You can feel confident today that Heavenly Father is very pleased and happy that you are making the same choice to be baptized. Heavenly Father wants nothing more than to be able to live with all of His children one day. Baptism is the first step that you need to take on your journey to live with Heavenly Father. He doesn’t just want to live with all of His children, He wants them to become like Him.

Through the covenants that you make at baptism, you are on your way to becoming more like Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father. Do you know what a covenant is? It’s a promise that you make with God. In the Book of Mormon we learn about the promises that you are making today.

T: Take His name upon you. Stand as a witness. When your Mom married your dad, she took on his last name. She now belongs to Him. When we get baptized, we also take upon ourselves the name of Jesus Christ. We belong to Him now. Because we belong to Him, we will…

A: Always remember Him. We remember who we belong to. We need to not only remember who we are, but whose we are. We remember Him when we pray and read our scriptures. When we go to church. When we serve others as Jesus did.

K: Keep His commandments.

E: Evaluate/repent and endure to the end.

If we do these things Heavenly Father promises us that He will forgive us of our sins and mistakes and He will give us the companionship of the Holy Ghost - Imagine, a member of the Godhead with us at all times! 

When you parTAKE of the sacrament ordinance, you are renewing the promises that you made at baptism. It’s so important to keep parTAKE-ing of the sacrament each week so that you can remember the covenants that you are making today. Covenants connect us to Christ. Remember these covenants when you parTAKE of the bread and the water. When you tilt your head back to drink your cup of water you can imagine yourself going under the waters of baptism again, ready and willing to come up out of that water committed to following Jesus Christ. Each piece of bread is different, just like each and every one of us is different. Christ treasures our uniqueness and he died for each one of us, individually.  Each of us makes mistakes differently.

I’m going to promise you something...you are going to mess up. We all do! No one in this room is perfect. This is why it’s so important to keep parTAKEing. When we make mistakes, it’s like getting a little bit of honey on our hands. Have you ever had honey on your hands? It’s sticky. It’s messy. It’s uncomfortable. Feeling this way is Heavenly Father’s way of motivating us to change...to help us feel clean again. It doesn’t feel good to be sticky.

If we keep parTAKE-ing of the sacrament, we will keep remembering our promises that we made at baptism. We will keep remembering Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ can help us clean the stickiness off. He suffered and died for us. His blood is the best cleansing agent in the world. His blood will make us pure. All we need to do is believe in Him, repent, and try to change.

Have you ever read the story “The Hare and the Tortoise”? In this story, the Tortoise and the Hare are in a race together on a dirt path. The Hare thinks he’s fast enough to win without trying, so he stops and takes a nap in the middle of the race. The Tortoise, however, doesn’t give up. He keeps moving along the path, slowly but surely. He has friends cheer him on. When he falls, he gets back up and keeps moving towards the finish line. It isn’t easy for him, but he knows that if he just keeps putting one foot in front of the other then he will make it to the end. The Hare wakes up from his nap just in time to see the Tortoise cross the finish line before him. 

A valuable lesson can be learned from this children’s story. You are just about to start your journey on the covenant path, just like the Tortoise and the Hare. Your race starts today! It doesn’t matter how fast you go. Everyone on the Covenant Path will win as long as they keep trying. I hope and pray that you can be like the Tortoise and keep trying, even though it might be difficult. Keep trying. You have friends and family here on Earth and in Heaven who love you and who are cheering you on. I bet your Dad’s Mom, Grandma Turley, is here watching you take this very important step and that she is very proud of you.

Keep learning, keep moving forward, keep getting up every time that you fall, keep TAKE-ing those daily steps forward on The Covenant Path. If you feel sticky or uncomfortable, turn to Jesus Christ and he will help you feel clean again. Elder Uchtdorf said in the last General Conference that “Because of Jesus Christ, our failures do not have to define us. They can refine us.”

Each step, each twist and turn, each hill that you will climb while on the path of life...turn to Jesus Christ and He will help you. Jesus Christ was lifted up upon the cross and died for you. As a result of His sacrifice, He has the ability to lift you up when you fall. I know these things to be true. I know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love you so much! I love you so much as well! I testify that His path, the covenant path, is the only path that will lead to true happiness in this life and eternal life in the world to come. Do those things necessary to stay on the path. ParTAKE of the sacrament as often as you can. “The gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of repentance. Because of the Savior’s Atonement, His gospel provides an initiation to keep changing, growing, and becoming more pure. It is a gospel of hope, healing, and of progress. Thus, the gospel is a message of joy! Our spirits rejoice with every small step forward we take.” President Nelson