It's Been A While...About 15 Months!

I can't believe that I have not written an entry for 15 months! 15 months. A lot has happened in 15 months. I kept putting it off because I was so far behind and I knew I'd never be able to catch up. However, I finally decided to lay aside that attitude and start where I am and keep moving forward from here. After my Mom died I read her journal. She stopped writing when I was 8 years old. I was grateful for the pages that she wrote, but I wished more than anything that she had continued to write. No matter how many days I have missed, I vow to start again! Life is too precious to let it pass by without recording the moments and experiences. I want my posterity to know me! I can't possibly catch up in pictures and explanations for the past 15 months in detail. I wish that I could. I will try to skim the highlights.

In the last entry, we were about to move into our Forever Home. We have now been living in it for a little over a year and I love it even more today than I did when we first moved in. I thank my Heavenly Father daily for the blessing that I have to live in this house, in the peace and quiet of the Antelope Acres community. There honestly isn't anywhere else in the whole wide world that I would rather be than here. I go running or walking in the peace and quiet of the early mornings. I watch the sun rise, I inhale the fresh morning desert air, I explore the various dirt roads and paths around our home and I thank Heavenly Father for allowing me such experiences. We are so blessed. Bryce and Mason each have BB guns and they are free to roam at their leisure, practicing their shooting skills all along the way.

We have various fruit trees in our backyard. Last summer we didn't eat any of the fruit, as it was all gone after our Canada trip (more on that later). This year, however, we have had an abundance of plums and nectarines. We have a few crab apple trees, as well as a peach and nectarine tree. We didn't prune this year, however, so the fruit on those trees are small and hard. Next year I vow to prune so that we can yield a great harvest!

Let me attempt to catch up a bit. As of now, Lizzie is 12 (nearly 13!) years old. She just finished the 7th grade. I home schooled her. She started school at Del Sur but really wanted to be home schooled. I asked her to pray about it and I would do whatever she feels is right. She felt that homeschooling was right, so I pulled her out of school. She has never been happier. She went to her first young women's camp last summer. This year was a virtual camp due to Covid-19 (more on that later). She really enjoys being in the Young Women. I have been a counselor in the YW presidency for the past year and I have relished in the chance to spend more time with her during activities and at the youth activities. Lizzie has really turned into an amazing young women. She is a wonderful older sister to all of her siblings. She is respectful and loving towards her parents. She keeps a "Come Follow Me" notebook and takes notes during every lesson. She studies her scriptures and says her prayers. She knows the gospel very well and it makes me so happy. She was born good. I look forward to listening to her patriarchal blessing to hear the kinds of things that the Lord has in store for her. I'm sure she will be successful at whatever she sets her mind to. She has a sense of confidence about her that is well beyond her years. She was called to be the ward organist this year. I am very proud of her ability to work hard at this challenging calling.

Bryce is 10, soon to be 11 on September 1st. I can hardly believe that he will be receiving the priesthood in January. Bryce just finished the 5th grade. He continues to learn and grow and he is striving to improve academically. His strengths are in math and science. Bryce loves to play with Legos and has recently developed a passion for drawing pictures/comic books. He learned to play the saxophone this year. He is also slowly continuing learning the piano. He has really matured recently. He has come a long ways from the tantrum-throwing toddler that used to drive me to tears nearly every day. He has his moments where he acts like a typical boy, but I sense that those days are numbered for him. His knowledge of the gospel is also growing. He knows what is right and what is wrong. Over time, I hope and pray that his testimony strengthens. Bryce is learning magic tricks and it's hilarious to watch him perform his shows. He loves Pokemon cards and has quite the collection.

Mason is 8 and was baptized in January. He just finished the 2nd grade where I was able to volunteer quite a bit in his classroom. He has a very sweet spirit about him. He cares about things, sometimes to the point of extreme. He covers up his stuffed animals at night and he gives them room on the bed. He often sleeps curled up in a tiny circle so as to not disturb his animal friends. He loves drawing and is very talented at it. He watches "Art Hub" on YouTube, a show that teaches you how to draw. He enjoys reading as well. Mason also loves Pokemon and has more cards that he can count. Binders and small boxes full of them. And he knows them all by name. He'd make a great God one day!

Little Caitlyn Dawn isn't so little anymore! She just celebrated her 6th birthday and finished Kindergarten! She has really grown this year. She now knows how to read, do simple math problems, ride a bike, and wipe her own bum after pooping (ha ha). I was able to volunteer in her class as well and I loved seeing her sweet personality interacting with her classmates. She is very sweet, gentle, and kind. She loves drawing and playing with her dolls and her beloved "Bunny". She especially loves spending time with her favorite person in the world, her big sister, Lizzie. They are best friends. They really are and it makes my heart swell within me.

William Lincoln will be 4 this month! I can hardly believe that our baby is growing up. He is still my baby boy, my baby joy. He is my squish-able, kissable, hug-able, and love-able baby boy, baby joy. He has is moments of being angry and mean (towards me and his siblings), but he is also the sweetest little boy in the world. In his own words, "Sometimes I am bad, and sometimes I am good." He loves kissing my chest and claims that it is soft and squishy. He still loves it when I kiss his cheeks and when I cuddle him. I don't know how I would survive without my William cuddle therapy every day. He loves cartoons, cars, dinosaurs, animals, and all things batman.

Jon and I are doing well! Our 14th Anniversary is this September 1st! Jon was called to the be 2nd Counselor in the Bishopric. He is working at SOAR High School, teaching classes at AVC, and recently got a job being a home school coordinating teacher at Gorman Learning Center (where Lizzie goes). He is an amazing supporter for our family! I posted this on Facebook a few weeks ago for Father's Day:

"When I went into labor with Lizzie early in the morning of Jon's first Father's Day, we didn't go to the hospital until after Jon had showered, shaved, and got dressed in his Sunday best. Why? Because he told me that he wanted to look his absolute best when he met his daughter for the first time. Isn't that so sweet?

To be perfectly honest, at the time, a part of me thought that this was ridiculous (let's face it, I was in labor with our first baby and I had no clue what was coming...I just wanted to get to the hospital. Additionally, I was perhaps feeling a little vain wondering why he got to look his best when I would soon be covered in blood, sweat, and tears).   However, as the years have past and we have added 4 more babies to our family since that first one, I have come to realize that there was more to him merely just looking his best when he met his  daughter for the first time.  It was so much deeper than that. Since our first baby was born I have witnessed first hand all that Jon has sacrificed for his children (and for me to be able to stay at home with them while they are young). He truly gives nothing less than his best self to his children.

About a month after Lizzie was born he came home from work early. He was a high school teacher by way of default. He had gotten a teaching job the year before as an intern on condition that he would work towards earning his clear teaching credential.  In fact, his Mom was the one to gently convince him to try to apply for a teaching job.  He had just graduated college, was about to get married, and didn't yet have a steady job.  The school district was desperate for math teachers. With his degree in math, his first post-university job wasn't all that difficult to acquire.  We ended up getting pregnant fairly quickly and had Lizzie one month before our first anniversary. 

His whole first year teaching he didn't take one class towards his credential. Instead, he started working towards his masters degree in mechanical engineering. Well, that particular day he was called into an office where he was spoken to by the school administrators. He was told that if he didn't begin working towards his credential than he would be fired. Jon left work early that day and came home. This memory has remained very vivid in my mind.

That was the day that I realized just how much Jon was willing to sacrifice for his family. I was nursing Lizzie on the couch when Jon came home and sat down on the floor in front of me with a look of complete defeat upon his face. It was heartbreaking to watch. He explained what had happened at work that morning. He told me how much he didn't want to be a teacher.  He said that teaching wasn't for him and that he wanted to be an engineer.  I recognized that teaching was hard for him. His first year of teaching was brutal. And his second year looked as if it was going to follow in the same pattern.  He had missed the first week of school because Lizzie was born the evening before the first day.  A teacher who misses that first week is setting himself up for a long and difficult year. 

I knew that he ultimately wanted to be an engineer. It was his dream.  However, on that day, nearly 13 years ago, I witnessed how his love for his family took a backseat to his dreams. I had just quit my teaching job (with a clear credential, ha ha) so that I could stay at home with Lizzie.  We had both decided that he would work and that I would stay at home with our children while they were young.  As I sat there nursing Lizzie, I felt a sense of sadness as I told him that he could quit teaching. I told him that I could go back to work and that he could stay at home with Lizzie while working towards a different career.  It was then that I saw my loving husband sit there in silence for a few minutes. He then took a deep and heavy breath, slowly stood up from the floor, and firmly told me that he was going to go and talk to the University of Bakersfield to see about starting the teaching credential program.  I hurt for him. I knew that teaching wasn't something that he originally wanted to do. However, teaching is exactly what the Lord wanted him to do.

Since that turning-point day, Jon went on to earn a teaching credential, a masters degree in aerospace engineering, a masters degree in education, as well as an educational  administration credential.  Over time, he has grown to truly love his career as a teacher.  His students have really touched his life and he  genuinely loves and cares for them.   He has, in a way, become a type of fatherly figure for some. An admirable man for some to look up to if they are not fortunate enough to have that type of example in their own home. Teachers wear many hats, as all teachers know. 

Over the past 14 years, Jon has applied for countless engineering jobs. Sadly, even while living in a place where people relocate to from all over the country to work specifically as engineers...he could never get an engineering job. Never got one single interview.  It wasn't meant to be. 

Yes, when Jon first became a father he dressed up in his Sunday best so that he could look his best when he met his daughter for the first time.   But that was just the beginning. When his first child was born he fully committed himself to BEING his best for her and for the rest of our children who had not yet arrived. 

I know his story is not all that unique.  Many father's make sacrifices for their children.  Jon and I have both been fortunate enough to have been raised by such father's who have given their best and have shown us what true love and sacrifice means.  For this we are eternally grateful.  I hope my kids are aware of how lucky they are. This is pretty cliche, but Jon truly is the best dad that my kids could ever ask for. 

He's a spiritual leader, a chef, an excellent handy-man, a pianist, a lover of classical music, a math teacher, a physics teacher, the emotionally stable one in our home, a converted tent-trailer extraordinaire, a true optimist, and above all...a loving Father to his five children who all adore him.  

This was loooooooong, but I'm rarely mushy on Facebook and thought that it was about time!  Happy Father's Day Jonathan Over!"

As for myself, I couldn't possibly catch up on everything that I have experienced. I am need of repentance for this omission. I have copied a few face book posts, but I don't really post on there that much. Here goes nothing!

For about 5 months I worked with the VIPkid company. I taught English online from my home computer in the early hours of the morning. I could have done it longer if it wasn't so early in the morning. Weeks of waking up at 2:30 in the morning (sometimes earlier) really got to me. So I quit. I had another small job as well. The Morris family asked me to teach history at the their home school program at the Dojo. It was once a week for only 3 hours. I really enjoyed it. It was short-lived, however, when Covid-19 struck.

In January, there was an outbreak of a disease in China referred to as the Coronavirus (Covid-19). The disease slowly started creeping into other countries. By March, it had been designated as a Pandemic. It has killed thousands and thousands of people, world wide. School's shut down. Our kids were all home schooled for the remainder of the school year. Not only did school's shut down, but church was shut down as well. Temples closed! We haven't been to church since early March. I thank Heavenly Father every day that he has given us the "Come Follow Me" program last year. Without the daily guidance of this curriculum, I fear that our family wouldn't be doing as well as we have been. Because of it, we have been able to stay focused and spiritually strong. Jon administers the sacrament to us each Sunday. The kids have been preparing talks. And our Primary Chorister has singing time every single Sunday. Such a blessing! For General Conference in the Spring, the only people present were those who were participating. The Fall general conference will follow the same pattern. As I mentioned earlier, YW camp was virtual this year. I had the opportunity to help participate and plan camp as a leader. It was a wonderful experience. The youth today are absolutely amazing!

Because of the Coronavirus, we all have to wear masks when we are out in public. Many businesses have closed. It has been a very hard time, economically, for the majority of the country. Jon has been very blessed to be working from home. He will continue to work from home this upcoming school year as well. The kids will also be home schooled. I'm not sure when we will be able to go to church again. When we do, however, I will not take it for granted ever again.

In April and May, I became overwhelmed with the feeling that I needed to have another baby. It was extremely powerful and overwhelming. I shed many tears over this yearning. Jon and I fasted and prayed and discussed this possibility to no end. Jon genuinely felt like we were done and that we needed to move on. I felt like we could be done, but my desire for another baby was very strong. However, I felt like it would work out either way. In the end, we decided not to have another baby. We need to move on. This has been a very challenging thing for me to accept. Having babies has been the highlight of my life and I hate to see that part of my life come to an end. I knew that I needed something else to focus on. So...I prayed about it and really felt like I needed to go to nursing school. I am currently in the process of speaking to a counselor about it. There have already been many bumps in the road, but my desire to go to nursing school is still strong. I want to help serve people. I hope and pray that this dream comes to fruition.

Recently, there was a black man who was murdered by a white cop. There has been a lot of unrest about this incident. Riots, looting, demonstrating, etc. It has been another crazy thing added to an already crazy pandemic.

I posted this on Facebook:

"God loves us ALL, exactly as we are.  We don't need God to turn off the lights...His light is exactly what we need. Can you imagine what the world would be like if we all allowed ourselves to be touched by God's love and light?

2nd Nephi 26:33

"...and he (God) inviteth them ALL to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both Jew and Gentile."

God is no respecter of persons. He sees us ALL and He loves us ALL. No matter what we DO, no matter what we have DONE.

Romans 8:38-39

"For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

I wish that all of this hate would stop. Hate and complete disrespect for others has invaded too much of our politics and our societies. It leads nowhere and solves nothing. Love is the only answer!  It starts in our own families. I hope that my children are learning to love and respect everyone...no matter their race, their religion, their political preference, their physical appearance, and on and on.  Not one race is above another!  If we don't teach our children this correct principle, then we are giving society permission to do so."

I found an old picture of Jon pulling a 2-year-old Bryce on the L.A. Temple grounds in an effort to get him to walk to a designated spot for family pictures. I wrote this on Facebook:

"Sometimes parenthood is an uphill battle of trying to get your kids to obey you. All that we wanted from Bryce on that day (about 9 years ago) was for him to stand up, walk to a particular spot on the L.A. temple grounds, and smile for a family picture.  Doesn't seem too hard, right?  But on that day, for that little boy, it was too much for us to ask of him.

This picture popped up on our digital picture frame today and it really made me think. What is it that our Heavenly Parents are asking of me?  Am I acting like a toddler and refusing to obey?  Even if what they ask me to do is something extremely simple?  In the photo, Jon has a smile on his face and is doing all that he can to lovingly guide Bryce to his destination. I know that our Savior is willing to do the same for each of us. He will guide us, we just need to be willing to reach up and take His hand.  The Savior will take us to our destination...one step at a time."

During the time when I was depressed about wanting another baby, I went on an early morning run and felt inspired by what I saw. Here is my face book post:

"I snapped this picture this morning when I was out running. God is the most magnificent artist!  I left my house this morning feeling a little down...then I saw this sliver of a colorful rainbow peeking through the clouds. Through nature, God sent me a personal message of hope!

"Nothing is beyond His redeeming reach or His encircling empathy. Therefore, we should not complain about our own life’s not being a rose garden when we remember who wore the crown of thorns!"

- Elder Neil A. Maxwell

Everything is going to work out! "

Thanksgiving 2019, we woke up to a surprise!  It was a marvelous day!  As a side note, it also snowed on the day after Christmas!  Here is what I posted on Face book:

"Happy Thanksgiving to all of our family and friends!  We woke up to snow here in in the desert and the kids were outside building a snowman by 7:30!   We are going to enjoy this beautiful winter wonderland for as long as it's here!   We feel so blessed...especially for having the opportunity to raise these crazy kids of ours.  Our lives are filled to the brim with blessings!  This year we had the opportunity to move into our forever home on a few acres of land (our dream come true)!  We  belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints where we have the opportunity to worship Jesus Christ.  We have access to the scriptures, including the Bible and the Book of Mormon which teach so many truths and testify of our Savior.  Our family has really improved our scripture study this year and we are experiencing the blessings of doing so.  We are surrounded by countless family and friends and we couldn't be more blessed!  My thoughts and prayers are with those I know who may be having a difficult day because of a recent loss of loved ones.  May you feel the love of the Savior today! "

Other Facebook Posts:

"We are the kind of family that eats dinner in a pumpkin to celebrate Halloween...and then we dance around the kitchen together afterwards while singing along to very loud Christmas music."

"Thinking of my Mom on her birthday today. It has been over 6 years but I still miss her.  I still lay awake sometimes at night begging to see her in my dreams.  I still wish that she could be here watching my kids grow up. I still wish that I could just do a craft with her. I still wish that I could call her up while I'm folding laundry and listen to her advice. I still wish that I could hear her say, "kiss the babies for me!".  Lizzie was only in kindergarten when she died. So much has changed since then. My Mom was not a perfect woman...but no one is perfect. I love my Mom for who she was, imperfections and all.  I know I would not be the person I am today without her influence in my life.  She taught me so many things and I am so sad that I didn't learn more from her.  I am forever grateful that I was chosen to be her daughter."

In the summer of 2019, we went on an EPIC camping trip.  We pulled our trailer from Lancaster, to Beaver (where we discovered a delicious creamery), to Logan, to Yellowstone, to Helena, to Calgary, to Banff, to Edmonton, to Babb, to Helena, to Logan, to Hurricane, and back.  Everything was absolutely beautiful.  We splurged and spent a lot of money.  But, we gave our children (and us) a vacation to last a lifetime.   We spent a week in Edmonton with Nana and Grandpa Duncan which was amazing!  Since then, they have both had strokes.  They are getting older and it makes me sad.  They are the absolute best grandparents that I could have ever been blessed with.  I love them dearly.  I am so grateful that my kids were able to spend time with them last summer.

Here is what I wrote on face book at the end of our trip:

"I have to brag about this man!  He just singe-handedly drove our trailer over 4,000 miles (with 5 kids in tow who weren’t always happy to be stuck in the van).  I took over for a very short time while on a straight road in Canada, but he did ALL of the rest!  He is a hero in my book!

We are a few minutes away from home and are so excited to be coming back to the scorching hot desert after experiencing cold weather and rain (or snow or hail) all but 5 or 6 days of our trip!  We had an amazing time. We saw beautiful scenery and, most importantly, we were able to spend time with lots of family along the way (we are sad that we couldn’t see all that we had hoped to see). "

Here some pictures over the past year.  I could post so many more...but the computer wasn't cooperating.  I figured I should just post what I can and then start today to do a better job.

Christmas in our new home was amazing!  Our new home felt like Christmas to me.  Tara's family surprised us with a visit on Christmas Eve!  It was amazing.  We invited some friends over for our annual Christmas Eve feast and it was absolutely amazing.  I love the tradition that we have established of spending Christmas Eve with friends.

Our family purchased Knotsberry farm passes for Christmas this year.  It was really fun while it lasted.  It closed along with everything else in the Pandemic.  We aren't sure if if will open up again this year, however, they extended our passes for next year as well.  Looking forward to going again!

I took the boys on a roller coaster called "Ghost Rider"...it was a bit too much for Mason who nearly passed out!

Horse and carriage ride!

Mason's Pokemon Birthday Party!  I spent all afternoon preparing him Pokemon food.  It was worth it to see this sweet boy so happy.

The kids created this person that they named "Man", ha ha.

Here are the kids participating in Primary Singing Time at home!

The kids have been obsessed with "Eggs in the Middle".  A favorite breakfast of theirs!

Grandma Norma spent a few days with us!