Why I Stayed
Remember in May, when I took the kids on a last minute trip to Utah because I felt the spirit compelling me to do so? Literally last minute. The baptism was the next morning and we didn't start driving until the afternoon before. Going to Utah wasn't even a thought in my mind until the last minute. It was definitely a rare spiritual prompting that urged me to do something that didn't really make sense. The whole time I was in Utah, however, the spirit whispered to me on numerous occasions, "This would not have happened had you not been here." The spirit confirmed to me that my decision to follow the prompting to go to Utah was the right thing to do.
After Grandpa Turley died, I had the opposite experience. I did not feel compelled to go to Utah to attend his funeral. In fact, it was just the opposite. I felt anxious and was repelled at the thought of me going to the funeral. Jon was ready to support me in whatever I wanted to do, but I didn't feel peace about going to Utah for the funeral. I didn't know why and I didn't understand it...but I made the decision to just stay home and watch it on zoom. After I made that decision, I felt peace. Even when it was determined that President Dallin H. Oaks was going to speak at the funeral, I didn't regret my decision to stay. Even when my family was sending me pictures of President Nelson, President Oaks, Elder Stevenson, and Elder Christofferson at my Grandpa's funeral...I didn't regret my decision to stay and I still felt peace about my decision. I could have been in the presence of a prophet of God! And yet...I felt peace about being home in my own little space in Lancaster. I felt like I needed to be here.
If I would have attended the funeral, I would have flown in on Wednesday evening and flown back on Sunday. The viewing was on Thursday, funeral on Friday, and Jon said that Sunday would be the best time to pick me up since there is less traffic on Sunday's. For some reason, I was keeping a mental note of everything that I did from Monday to Sunday, thinking that there must be a reason why I stayed home and didn't attend the funeral.
I didn't make a list of everything, but here are just a few things that I did that I wouldn't have been able to do had I been in Utah:
Wednesday night: We had a wonderful youth activity with the Young Women where we each shared about a women in church history or the scriptures. One of my counselors was sick so if I wasn't there then there would only be one counselor there.
Thursday: I got a call from Gorman wanting to interview me for the elementary job that I applied for. I had the interview yesterday...I think I completely failed it and that I won't get the job. I'm trying to not be embarrassed about it. I also found out that day that the sister who was supposed to be teaching the YW lesson on Sunday couldn't make it. Since I didn't want to ask my counselors to prepare a lesson last minute, I started preparing the lesson myself.
Friday: We watched Grandpa's funeral online. I had some bonding time with Lizzie. I texted a lot of people and invited them to our ward Halloween party. Two non-member families are coming to our activity because I asked them to.
Saturday: I babysat 2 kids so that their older sister (one of my YW) didn't have to do it so that she could attend the surprise birthday party of another YW. Maybe the birthday girl needed as many YW as possible to attend her party?
Sunday: I attended ward council in the morning. I gave the YW lesson. I attended WYC after church. I felt prompted to text a new sister that Lizzie and I were assigned to minister to. She had not gotten back to me previously, but, surprisingly, she got back to me and said that we could come at 3:00 that afternoon. It was crazy after church...I nearly just left Lizzie at Grandma's and didn't take her with me...but she was feeling like she really needed to go with me. Since this was a new sister on our list I told Lizzie that we weren't going to give a lesson, but that we were just going to talk about get to know her a bit. Well, it didn't end up turning out that way. This sister had recently lost her husband and is just going through a really difficult time. During the visit, I felt impressed to share some portions of the YW lesson that I had just given. Lizzie followed the spirit as well and shared her thoughts and her "recipe card" of how to access the power of heaven. Lizzie also had written a poem and had just read it at our Wednesday's youth activity...she miraculously still had it in her purse so she pulled it out and read it. Then she gave it to the sister we were visiting, who was in tears after Lizzie read her poem.
It wasn't until after this visit, after talking with Lizzie about how she, as a 14-year-old, can truly make a difference in the lives of the people that she ministers to...that the spirit whispered to me, "This is why you stayed."
I know that Heavenly Father loves His children. He loves us each, individually, one-by-one. He cares about us each, individually, one-by-one. He loves this sister that we minister to so much that He prompted me to not attend my Grandpa's funeral so that Lizzie and I could be available to visit her at that exact time and place. I prepared a YW lesson that contained quotes that I was able to share with this sister. The whole situation was orchestrated by God. Not only were Lizzie and I in the place that we needed to be in the time that we needed to be there, but Lizzie miraculously felt prompted to keep her poem in her purse long after our Wednesday night activity. She felt prompted to come with me, even when I told her that it was okay, she could miss this one time. Lizzie now has a memorable spiritual experience that she can record and that will strengthen her testimony.
It was all worth it. I missed seeing a prophet of God, a member of the first presidency, and two apostles. I missed being with my family. However, going ministering with Lizzie that day was where I needed to be...where the Lord needed me to be...and I am so grateful that I listened to the spirit and chose to stay.
President Nelson signing in at Grandpa Turley's funeral.
Here are some other pictures of recent happenings:
The kids playing together with the two kids that I babysat on Saturday. They played well together. We made Jack-o-Lantern Pizzas for dinner and they watched "Nightmare Before Christmas"...I played game after game with the little 3-year-old.
Well, that's about it for catching up. Next time I write I'm sure I'll know whether or not I'll get the Gorman Job. It's different than what I thought. I thought it would be from 9 to 12...but I think it'll be from 8 to 3:45-ish. I would need Sandy to pick up the kids 4 days a week. At any rate, I feel embarrassed about the interview. Looking back, I should have said many things differently and I should have omitted some things as well. I don't feel confident in how it went and I'm feeling extremely embarrassed. Oh well, I likely won't see any of these people again...I just have to move on.
I can just do what I can, every single day, to Let God Prevail in my life.
That's my number one goal. All other things will fall into their proper place or drop out of my life.
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