Playing Catch-up...Again!

August 06, 2021

A lot has happened since the last post. William went to kindergarten camp and loved it. The kids started school on Wednesday! Bryce started 7th grade and is doing really well with the new middle school schedule. He loves it! He seems very happy and he seems to have made some really good friends. I hope that it will be a good year for him. Mason started 4th grade! His teacher seems perfect for him. She has a bunch of Uga-Wugas in her classroom so Mason immediately felt at home. Caitlyn started 2nd grade. She had the same teacher (Mrs. Roadhouse) for kindergarten and first grade so I think getting a different teacher will be a little challenging for her. She hasn't done any crafts yet, which has caused her some disappointment though. She will survive! William started Kindergarten and seems to have adjusted really well. He loves doing the crafts and playing with friends on the playground. I'm so glad that the kids seem so happy and that life is somewhat back to how it was in the "olden days", pre-pandemic. The kids are still required to wear masks indoors, but they don't seem to mind.

After dropping the kids off on the first day of school I barely made it out of the school before completely losing it. I cried for a good two hours. A new phase of life has begun. I feel so completely alone when the kids are at school. I feel like I have no purpose in life. It is a very uncomfortable feeling. I feel so much pressure to keep busy every single second that the kids are at school. I don't feel like I deserve to sit down and rest. I hope that I can lose the guilt soon or the rest of my life is going to be very difficult.

I got hired on as a substitute teacher. I don't think that I will work that often. I'm hoping to just work at Del Sur, which will make it difficult since I doubt that there are many jobs at Del Sur. I went to a substitute training a few weeks ago and actually felt quite uneasy about it. I have been at home and out of the workforce for 14 years. That's a long time. I feel like the rest of the world have moved on and I have stayed stagnant. I feel very out of place in the world. Like a fish out of water. Anyway, I hope to be able to feel happiness soon in this new stage. As I was crying on the first day of school, I just wanted my Mom. I just wanted to talk to her so very badly. I prayed and begged Heavenly Father to please allow her to be with me. To sit with me for a bit. Oh how I wanted it to happen! I don't know if my Mom was with me...but because I was thinking about my Mom and wondering what she would say to me if she were sitting next to me, I had the thought "It's not about you...it's about others. Think of someone who you can serve and get to work." I felt better after thinking that. I know that it was the Holy Ghost. Or, perhaps it was my angel mother communicating to me by the power of the Holy Ghost. Whatever the case may be, the thought comforted me. My goal from now on is to sincerely pray every single day to know who I can reach out to and who I can serve. That can provide me with purpose until I find mine.

I'm falling asleep right now...sorry. I'm just going to upload a bunch of pictures and explain as necessary.

We got a new slip-n-slide for our backyard today! The kids love it! It's huge!

Jon finished putting up our playground! The kids love it!

William and I were playing a game -- He read this question and answered it "Dad's".

Caitlyn made this crazy cat decoration and she said that she wants to give it to her teacher for Halloween...I don't know about that, ha ha!

William's first day of Kindergarten! This is his "best smile".

I can hardly wait to see his school pictures this year!

The kids with their traditional first day of school giant cookie!

Lizzie, 9th grade! High school!

William, Kindergarten!

Bryce, 7th Grade!

Caitlyn, 2nd Grade!

Mason, 4th Grade!

Caitlyn has a habit of drawing pictures when she is sad or mad. She was sad for some reason (probably because Lizzie wouldn't play with her) and she drew/colored this picture. She's a character!

What would the world be like if everyone were like Mason? He's such a good brother. He is so kind and helpful. Caitlyn and Mason had swimming lessons for a few weeks. Mason took care of Caitlyn in the pool and was very protective of her. Such a good brother!

The Young Women and Young Men went on a beach trip last Saturday! It was so much fun!

We went to Knots Berry Farm for a few days and spent a night in a hotel.

The last little "hoorah" before school started.

They give you SO much food on your plates at Knots Berry! It's unreal!

The kids thought that this picture in the Friend Magazine was so funny that they tried to imitate it, ha ha.

They Young Women went to the art museum and then to Sweet Frog for some frozen yogurt. I sure love these young women! I'm so grateful that I get to spend time with them. I pray that I'm doing a decent job as the Young Women President...I fear that I'm not doing a good enough job.