Feeling So Sad For Those Who Suffer

Feeling sad right now.  Heartbroken, really.  We just found out that one of our friends from Tierra Bonita Ward was just diagnosed with Colon Cancer.  Ugh.  This time it's the husband, after so many women being afflicted with cancer in that poor ward.  I hope and pray that he is healed and doesn't end up leaving his sweet wife a widow and his poor daughter (Winter, who is Caitlyn's age) to have to grow up without an earthly father.  It is just too heartbreaking to consider.  What makes matters worse is that he is self-employed and they do not have health insurance.  What an additional stressor for them during such a difficult and devastating time.  We donated some money.  I wish that we could do more.  My heart aches to do more.  It is so difficult watching so many people suffer so much.  Especially when I feel like we are just not suffering in the slightest.  Why is that?  Are we not suffering so that we can merely be available to help those around us?  Do we not need to learn the lessons that suffering teaches?  I highly doubt that.  I am uncertain why the Lord has blessed us so significantly during this pandemic while so many others are suffering beyond belief.  It pains me to think of the suffering of others and I feel guilty, in a way, for being so blessed.  I don't deserve my life.  I know that no one knows what the future holds.  We could be in a position of suffering in a year from now.  Or tomorrow.  You never really know.  But for now, I ache and ache for all those who are suffering and feel guilty for being blessed.  I try my hardest to serve others, but am I doing enough?  I want to do more.  I plead with God every day that I may be an instrument in God's hands.  I pray that I am worthy of my many blessings.  And I pray that God will allow me to suffer when the time is right so that I may be refined in a way that only suffering achieves.

My heart feels heavy today.

Before I heard the news about Aaron, I was playing outside with the kids in our beautiful piece of desert and feeling so grateful that we live here.  Antelope Acres is the best kept secret in the Antelope Valley.

My Mom lives on in her decorations that she made me.

Yesterday was February 1st, the beginning of Valentine Month.  I set up 5 valentine mailboxes on the shelf.  My intention was to have the kids write kind love notes to each other all the way up until Valentines Day.  Not sure how it will work every day, but yesterday they enjoyed it.

These two kids have become the best of friends.  I think they really do love each other and it makes my heart happy.

Jon was trying to catch a gopher that is eating up our grass.  He stood by the gopher hole for a good 30 minutes, only to realize that he only had a shell in his gun rather than bullet, ha ha.  Oh well, better luck next time.