Wednesday, we made it!

 We made it to Wednesday!  2 more days to go before the weekend!

The weather was really nice this morning so the kids spent a lot of time outside playing before starting school.

The weather was really nice after dinner as well.  So we played outside until it was nearly dark out!  I love living out here.

I spent an hour or so dropping off things to the Young Women.  It was nice to see them and to talk to their Mom's.  This pandemic is so hard on them...they are being so strong.  I miss seeing them on a regular basis.

Guess what?  Jon's parents found a home to buy! It's just a few miles away from us!  I can hardly believe it.  It's amazing!  It's a miracle!  It wasn't even on the market yet...Jon saw on Facebook that someone was looking to hire someone to clean up their yard before they put their house on the market.  Jon jumped on it and his parents were able to see the house and put an offer before it even hit the market!  Such and incredible blessing!  It's like what happened with our house.  If it's meant to be...it's meant to be.  It will be so nice to have them living so close to us and in our same ward.  I'm feeling very blessed today...and a little guilty.  So many people all around the world are suffering so much.  I wish that I could do something to help out.  I keep thinking about adoption or foster parenting...but that seems almost impossible to do when we already have 5 kids of our own.  I would take children in if I could though.  I wonder if the dream of me becoming a nurse will ever come true.  That is a job where I can feel like I'm serving people.

I'm at an odd stage in my life.  I was so needed for so many years.  I gave 100% of myself to my children.  I felt needed.  Now that the kids are growing up I'm starting to feel like I don't have a purpose any longer.  I can't see past this stage in my life.  I don't know how to visualize myself moving forward.  I feel lost.  I feel confused.  For so many years it was ingrained into my mind...marriage and children, marriage and children, marriage and children.  Nothing else is as important.  No other goal should come first.  No career should come first.  Well, I fulfilled that goal.  I got married...I had children...but now I feel lost.  They don't tell you what to do when you get to this stage.  Perhaps there could have been a way for me to have children and still keep my career somehow.  I just didn't even think of it as an option.  For some reason, in my mind, the only way that I could be "good" was to fully quit everything that I had worked towards professionally and give 100% of myself to my children.  Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to do so.  I cherish the years that I was able to stay at home with my children and be fully supported by Jon.  It was a huge blessing.  I didn't miss any milestones.  I was able to cuddle and snuggle my babies.  I was able to read countless books.  But at this point in time, I'm a little nervous about what lies ahead.  Where do I go from here?  Is it possible for me to go to nursing school and still be a good mom?

If only the answers were spelled out clearly in front of me.

This is why we have personal revelation...and I need it very badly right about now.