Guilt

I have an issue with feeling guilty a lot.  Sometimes I feel guilty for actual valid reasons.  Other times I feel guilty for things beyond my control.  However, last night I went to bed crying because I was feeling so guilty that I am not a very good member missionary.  I feel horrible that I don't know my neighbors.  I'm really bad at making friends.  Most of my friends are friends from church because they are easy...they are instant friends and they also share my same values so it makes it an easy choice.  I feel like I'm a bad person for not reaching beyond my comfort zone to try and make friends with other people.  I try, but I haven't ever been successful.  It's something that has caused me to feel a lot of guilt over the years.  I don't want to be condemned one day because I didn't share the gospel with anyone.  If I allow myself to think about it, the guilt overwhelms me.

I hope that I will get credit one day for trying to teach my children the gospel.  I hope that it counts for something.  I really and truly hope so.  Of all the things that I could have fasted for yesterday, one of the things that I fasted for was for forgiveness.  I feel so guilty and I really need to feel like I am still on the right path and there is hope for me.  I know that my kids are going to read this (especially Lizzie, ha ha) and she will have no idea why I feel so guilty.  It's hard to explain.

Anyway, I ran 6 miles this morning.  I took Caitlyn, Lizzie, and William shopping.  We went to Sam's Club, Walmart, and we spent a few minutes at Hobby Lobby.  I love that store, but things are so expensive.  I just took a few pictures of things and I'm going to see if I can make them on my own.  It's cheaper that way.

After shopping I cleaned a bit and then read the kids another Goosebumps Book.  After reading it to them they watched the corresponding episode on Netflix.  I made a feast for dinner.  Baked Chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, homemade biscuits, corn, and salad.  Yesterday I made noodles with homemade Alfredo Sauce.  I normally use garlic powder in the place of fresh garlic because I just don't like cutting the garlic.  Yesterday, however, I used fresh garlic and Jon mentioned how much he liked it.  I told him that every once in a while I decide that I love him enough to use fresh garlic, ha ha.

After dinner, the kids went outside (with much coercion on my part) and played.  Then we watched a video about Captain Moroni and Zarahemnah for Come Follow Me.  Now the kids are watching an Avatar episode with Jon.  It's kind of a tradition for them.  School starts on Monday so their Avatar days are limited.

I'm really enjoying reading President Nelson's talks.  I love him.  He is truly a prophet of God.

William was the lucky little boy who got to ride on the tractor with Daddy while he mowed the lawn.

Mason and William playing catch!

Our large driveway truly is the best in the world!

William used his chalk to draw a chalk road.

The kids watching Goosebumps today, nice and cozy.

These pictures are from last night.  It was a nice Sunday evening.

I read William Books.

Lizzie colored with her colored pencils at the table.

Mason played with his robot and Bryce worked on a puzzle.

Caitlyn played around with our giant chess set.

William drew a Pikachu.  It was very impressive!

The boys actually played a real game of chess.  They need to play more often, such a fun chess set.